Low-Lying Fog and the Longest Day
Welcome to Coffee with Coops! 💛☕️. I’m Coops, an award-winning Positive Psychology Wellbeing Expert & Thrivership Coach™, here to help you not just survive the week, but thrive in it
My love languages? Coffee, cake, movies, and classical music.
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Some incoming updates for the next few months with Coffee with Coops.
Next week is The Intermission 🍿, and I’ll be bringing a special film review and mini-interview with an actor from the film.
I’ll then be jet-setting off to Australia for the World Congress in Positive Psychology.
In the first two weeks of July, I'll be conducting a gorgeous interview with my friend and sustainable fashion stylist, Alex Standley, who will share her top tips on dopamine dressing.
The following week will feature a review from the archives on meaning and purpose.
I have decided to take August off completely. I need a proper break, and it does take a lot to publish this weekly, which is why I am so grateful to you all who are part of my paid community. There is a wealth of content to explore from the archives, including articles, audio files, videos, replays of workshops and courses, and all the Mental Wealth resources.
Supporting my work means a lot, so if you’ve enjoyed reading Coffee with Coops for the first half of 2025 and you’re not a paid subscriber, you can buy me a coffee as a token of appreciation.
The last post of the summer will be on July 26th, and I will return on September 6th.
Before I disappear off to Australia, I wanted to share where I’m really at.
It is Sunday morning, and I have just returned from my long run and immediately burst into tears. Those kinds of wracking sobs, that, when they are over, make you feel as if a cloud has been lifted. It reminds me of the storm on Friday evening, the continuous build-up of pressure, until the heavens can no longer withstand it and start wringing out the clouds.
This has been building for some time, maybe two or three weeks, I am not sure. Some might say that it is because today is Father’s Day, and I tragically lost my Dad in a car accident when I was six. However, I don’t feel that this is the reason; maybe unconsciously, it has contributed to my build-up, but I don’t think it is the root cause.
All week, I've had an itch, something I can’t scratch that has made me feel out of sorts. And I know deep down what it is, it’s a mix of loneliness and change.
This week was Loneliness Awareness Week in the UK, and I gave a talk on Wednesday to one of my legal clients. I enjoyed the discussion. I have spoken extensively about loneliness in the past, a subject still laden with stigma and shame. Who likes to tell people they feel lonely? Yeah, I thought as much. Not many of you.
The kind of loneliness I’m feeling seems stealthy. It has crept back in so gradually that I didn’t notice it at first; it just becomes ever-present. Until I suddenly realised yesterday, I think I am lonely. On the outside, looking in, I have a vibrant life; I can choose what I want to do and when. I believe I have a good life, but today, it feels a little darker around the edges. The darkness has slowly taken over parts of my world, like a low-lying fog. Perhaps it’s not loneliness, but rather a low mood. I don’t know. Still, it’s been a struggle to push through and cope with.
I have started taking naps during the day to see if that eases the heaviness in my bones and body. The funny thing about me and loneliness, perhaps this is true for you too, is that I don’t naturally want to connect with people; instead, I want to do the exact opposite. I want to hide, run away, and not speak to anyone. I want to delete all my social media accounts and disappear off the grid.
I have an upcoming trip to Australia at the end of the month, and I am using this as an opportunity to sever ties with, well, almost everything. I need this more than anything.
The loneliness will pass. It always does. But god, do I miss being held and touched. I have been in enough bad relationships to know that not everyone who is in a relationship is happy and feels a deep connection with their partner. But I do wish I were in Japan and could hire one of those professional huggers right now - Google it if you don’t believe me. Humans need this. We need physicality in our relationships. I want someone to wipe away the tears, to hug me or hold me at night. I wonder if I will ever have that again.
You can see how bad it’s become.
Another factor contributing to my current state of mind is that I am fatigued. Both physically and mentally, which has probably not helped alleviate the loneliness, I am physically exhausted from participating in a running event called the 12 Days of Summer Challenge (12 runs in 12 days), which concludes on the Solstice when you read this. It has been what I needed to kick-start my running training again, but it has taken a lot of energy. The other is that I have been working ridiculously hard since the start of the year, and mentally, I am ready for a break. Australia will be the chance to have a complete reset. I will be going off-grid. Work emails, Substack, Instagram, LinkedIn and WhatsApp. All will be deleted so I can properly tune out from life and focus on myself and the present. I need to nourish my soul.
When I feel tired and lonely because I don’t want to spend time with people I don’t like, everyone seems irritating, and I don’t want to join their group or conversation. I can sense the annoyance beneath, and my lack of empathy. I’ve probably been in the strain zone for too long. Despite the breaks I’ve given myself, it’s been a lot this year - enjoyable, but a lot.
As someone diagnosed with ADHD, hyperactive and impulsivity type, I will always have a lot going on. It would be odd if I didn’t. But writing this honest account for you has made me realise that the fatigue isn’t just from having a lot on my plate, but also from a change. I am changing again. My word for this year was unstoppable, and I genuinely see it as my mission for 2025. I have been pivoting, following my biggest dreams, putting them out there, and I’ve got out of my comfort zone so many times in the last six months that my adrenaline and cortisol levels must be ready to take a break.
So we have some loneliness, coupled with physical energy loss and sprinkled with mental fatigue. Yep, my batteries are pretty depleted.
The Summer Solstice marks the longest day of the year and the official midpoint of the calendar year. I said that this year, I had accomplished a lot, so I have decided to be vulnerable and share with you my achievements so far in 2025. These are not all highs or lows, many I realised are where I have been pushing to change and step out of my comfort zone.
This could be a lovely thing for you to do, too. A reminder: this is not for you to beat yourself up if you feel you haven't achieved anything. We all need those seasons in our lives when surviving is a win, not just a step toward thriving. You only have to read my piece, The Art of Shedding, to know those wounds are still freshly healed for me
To reflect on 2025 so far, I’ve pulled out my first journal of this year to see what was captured.
Did the Female Invest Bootcamp to sort out my finances and figure out what I need to do to build where I want to go.
Spent a few days staying in Southend and had an opportunity to work with a theatre company and both theatres, in my capacity as patron of No Panic.
Sold my flat, moved back to the seafront in Westcliff on Sea.
Joined the Royal Philharmonic Society as a corporate member and went to my first AGM.
Lanzarote with work, making new creative friends.
Taught several holotropic breathwork in-person classes.
Went to my second premiere for the TV show MobLand, and decided I wanted to have a go at acting.
Became a regular volunteer at my local Parkrun and met my now running club.
Did my first big content piece on Instagram with film director Lucas Pelizaro.
Secured a breakfast show presenter role on local radio with CCR 104.4 FM, after a rejection and some no responses. Also began to make inroads into the radio industry with networking opportunities.
Attended my first in-person writing circle thanks to the lovely
.Applied for acting classes and started a screen acting class with City Academy.
Went to Zurich for the first time, on a work trip to deliver a keynote.
Started the year with five coaching clients and have just taken on another five!
Went on a first date to get back out there. Nothing further to report.
Met with my business mentor who kicked my ass, and we have a new strategy.
Met with my lit agent, who has helped to shape my ideas and social media direction.
Invited to my first student film screening and a short film screening.
Did five weeks of Mental Health First Aid training straight!
Attended the brilliant
’s pitch workshop.Took on some big corporate wellbeing work contracts at the start of the year.
Outlined a short podcast series to be recorded over the summer.
Worked with the lovely and wise
to improve Coffee with Coops (which has not missed a weekend since the start of the year).Pitched a piece of writing work, applied for a TEDx talk, and didn’t win them. But had a go to tell the universe I wanted more of this.
Wow.
No wonder I’m tired, I’ve been blooming nonstop!
This was a good reminder of why I haven’t had the time to do some other things on the list!
I am incredibly proud to see that I have shifted more into the creative realms of radio and acting, which is exactly what I desired. This is where I am working out what my next steps will be. I asked the universe for more coaching clients, and I am currently coaching more than ever before. I’m collaborating on enjoyable breathwork events. As Millie, my assistant, told me this week, everything you have has been manifested through hard work and positive energy.
What do I want for the second half of the year? I am going to be radically honest with you and share my goals for the next 6 months.
💛 Finish writing my wellbeing book, something small and special for the corporate world, which will be self-published.
💛 Be booked for more speaking engagements on radical responsibility, thrivership and post-traumatic growth.
💛 To create my online journal for when sh1t falls apart.
💛 To secure my first paid acting role.
💛 An opportunity to intern or shadow at Classic FM.
💛 Publish my podcast.
I think that’s enough!
Thank you.
I feel less alone writing to all 1400 of you. We’re all navigating our own solstices - thank you for being part of mine.
I want you to know that if you're struggling right now and cried like I did today, I’m here for you. I promise.
I’ll be back next week with a special for The Intermission🍿.
Happy sunny solstice vibes.
Love
Coops☕️💛.
You’re a super star. Your kindness and generosity shines so brightly Ruth!
What a year you are having Ruth! 🎉🎉
Sending a virtual cuddle 🤗