Welcome to March! At the end of the article I have the details of my next Mental Wealth workshop this month.
This week I wanted to talk about what I’ve noticed since the start of the year. In my work as a positive psychology practitioner and mental health trainer, the term languishing is ever present. Dr Corey Keyes linked the word with his mental health continuum, a concept to shift our thinking from viewing mental health as binary – you have either have a diagnosis of a mental ill-health condition or you don’t. Keyes added the lens of wellbeing, the idea of regardless of whether a diagnosis is present in an individual, we can all be either flourishing or languishing. April 2021, Adam Grant made the term popular with his view in the NYT talking about languishing as the forgotten child of mental health. In 2021, for me languishing was my day to day, as my team and I held people online or on the phone as we experienced the final fourth lockdown. Sadly we did a lot of suicide crisis support, we were on our knees come the end of the year, and everything was heavy.
What is languishing?
Languishing can be described as the absence of wellbeing, the feeling of meh. You might be experiencing a low mood or anxious thoughts, you might be dealing with overwhelm, fatigue or brain fog. You might not have the motivation to do the things you love. There is little joy, sunshine and that life is, well, a bit sh*t and hard.
I am witnessing more of this whether this is in my trainings, workshops or in the coaching room. There is a restlessness, a heavy fatigue, and a struggle to feel positive about life. Back in January I wrote unlike 2022 and 2023 where we all a bit ‘gung-ho’ on wanting life to be better (or maybe go back to where it was pre-pandemic), the continued weariness of global wars, cost of living crisis and general difficulties of life, meant we peeped our head above the parapet to check what was going to hit us next. The weather here in the UK has made winter feel long this year. This won’t have helped if we are trying to push against nature’s way of slowing down and hibernating.
The Mental Wealth continuum
In my workshops I use the idea of Keyes’ continuum being on a scale of 1-10. This provides you with a benchmark to think of where you might be on average when you are okay. Then think about when you are not okay. For me my everyday life of feeling okay is about an 8, but I know the minute I start identifying as a 6 I need to put some extra work in my self-care. By activating what we need, we can begin to move ourselves back up the continuum – this isn’t always as immediate as we expect. Sometimes by activating our self-care it just stops us from moving further down the continuum. This is why I describe mental health as Mental Wealth as it takes us to do the work and invest in ourselves.
It is Saturday afternoon as I write this, and I have gifted myself a very introverted and restful day. I have struggled with languishing in February. I was so in my own head on Friday it took a lot of self-care and my talking intervention, including a good cry, to allow things to begin to shift for me.
Coops, what do I need to do when I’m languishing?
First check-in with yourself and be curious about what’s going off in your own head.
The fabulous Tanya Lynch who I started following on here, has some brilliant journal prompts on languishing. I am a massive fan of the benefits of journaling and have studied the positive psychology research behind expressive writing, so put pen to paper and see what comes up.
Find someone you can talk to who is non-judgemental. I appreciate we all use family and friends, but often talking to a professional, whether it is a coach, counsellor or therapist can hold the spaces we need to work through what is in our heads. I appreciate this is a privilege for many, but I know a lot of my readers are from the corporate world, and will likely have an assistance provision at work which is confidential giving you access to free counselling - use it!
Do some form of movement, shift the energy in your body. I am interviewing people for my articles in May as the theme for this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week is movement. Hearing how movement has supported people to achieve flourishing and create a deeper connection of who they are, is bloody inspiring.
Take part in what brings you joy. Whatever that is, whatever that means to you, go and do it. Get over the self-sabotage and the obstacles. Go and boost your happy hormones in the brain.
Make sure you are resting. Rest comes in so many different forms, I have prioritised rest today and slept for nine hours last night. Sleep is a superpower and when it is not at the centre of our wellbeing foundation, it’s a matter of time before we experience the negative impact this has on our flourishing.
Be kind to yourself and extend yourself tons of self-compassion. I do believe life will get better. Back on World Mental Health Day I wrote about how can we do hope + optimism given what is happening in our world. As humans we must look to hope, or we have nothing. At the end of today I am feeling much more of a 6.5, when this week I have been sat at a 4.5/5, so it can work – just don’t expect overnight miracles!
Please take it easy and take care of you xx.
To coincide with World Sleep Day 15th March, my next Mental Wealth workshop:
Tuesday 19th March 7pm-7.45pm GMT.
Breathe for Performance – a breathwork and meditation session.
The workshop is open to all, but the follow-up handout, a bonus full-body scan meditation recording, plus an optional 15-minute check-in with me will be available for Paid Subscribers only.